Sunt mediocru. Sunt, la propriu, captiv \u015fi prins la mijloc de fiin\u0163\u0103: a mea. \u00cen alte privin\u0163e, de la un cap\u0103t la altul personale, tot un fel de mediocru sunt: prins \u015fi captiv \u00eentre posibilele condi\u0163ii de existen\u0163\u0103\u2026 ale fiin\u0163ei mele. Dar nu vreau s\u0103 zic nimic despre ele sau despre ce ele \u2013 niciuna dintre ele \u2013 n-a reu\u015fit, fiindc\u0103-s departe de ambele, s\u0103-mi aduc\u0103.<\/p>\n
A\u015fa c\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2n la mediocritatea mea proprie \u2013 \u015fi nu altcumva: eronat figurat\u0103 \u2013 \u015fi chiar public\u0103. Deci s\u0103 trec sub t\u0103cere, egoist\u0103, cauzele intime ale mediocrit\u0103\u0163ii mele \u015fi s\u0103 m\u0103 rezum, exclusiv, asupra motivelor publice \u015fi conotative pentru care insist s\u0103 cred, \u00een continuare, c\u0103 sunt mediocru? Bun, \u00een regul\u0103.<\/p>\n
Nu exist\u0103 un singur om din oricare parte a trecutului meu, c\u0103ruia s\u0103-i fi traversat la un moment dat coridoarele temporale, care s\u0103 nu recunoasc\u0103 c\u00e2t de mediocru pot s\u0103 fiu. Mai devreme sau mai t\u00e2rziu; direct sau indirect; cu ajutor din partea altora sau f\u0103r\u0103 ajutor din partea nim\u0103nui; mai clar sau mai neclar; mai cu inim\u0103 u\u015foar\u0103 sau mai cu inim\u0103 grea \u2013 to\u0163i, p\u00e2n\u0103 la unul \u2013 p\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103 \u2013 p\u00e2n\u0103, de altfel, la proba contrarie \u2013 au ajuns la aceea\u015fi concluzie inevitabil\u0103 \u015fi imposibil de \u00eenlocuit cu alta mai favorabil\u0103 mie: au recunoscut c\u00e2t de penibil pot s\u0103 fiu \u015fi, fatalitate ori ba, chiar sunt.<\/p>\n
Probabil, m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc \u00eencerc\u00e2nd s\u0103 refac anumite intersec\u0163ii din istoria noastr\u0103 comun\u0103, unora dintre ei nu le-a picat bine s\u0103-\u015fi dea seama c\u0103 s-au \u00een\u015felat at\u00e2t de amarnic \u00een privin\u0163a mea. Se vor fi \u00eentrebat, unii dintre ei, cum am reu\u015fit s\u0103 le \u00eengreunez acuitatea logic\u0103? Ei bine, \u00eencerc s\u0103-mi \u00eenchipui c\u0103 pot s\u0103-i r\u0103spund fiec\u0103ruia \u00een parte: n-am f\u0103cut nimic, v-o jur, s\u0103 v\u0103 tocesc perspicacitatea dicaniceasc\u0103 pe care, deodat\u0103, a\u0163i pogor\u00e2t-o asupra mea!…<\/p>\n
Practic, \u00een ce m\u0103 prive\u015fte, am con\u015ftiin\u0163a \u00eemp\u0103cat\u0103: m\u00e2inile mi-au fost legate \u00een permanen\u0163\u0103. \u015ei s\u0103 fi vrut s\u0103 m\u0103 lansez \u00een vreo ac\u0163iune de contorsionare, dup\u0103 bunul meu plac, a percep\u0163iei lor \u2013 \u015fi n-a\u015f fi reu\u015fit: o spun profund u\u015furat c\u0103 exact a\u015fa au stat lucrurile.<\/p>\n
\u00cen fond, s\u0103 cugete \u015fi ei un pic, fie \u015fi retrospectiv: cum, efectiv, a\u015f fi avut succes \u00een a-i sabota, \u00eentr-un fel sau altul, c\u00e2nd, niciodat\u0103, eu n-am fost capabil s\u0103 trec peste mediocritatea mea proprie \u015fi public\u0103 \u015fi \u2013 \u00eentr-adev\u0103r \u2013 \u00eentru totul generalizat\u0103 \u2013 ca s\u0103\u2026 \u2013 ca s\u0103 ce?<\/p>\n
M\u0103 rog, simt c\u0103 orice a\u015f mai zice s-ar \u00eentoarce \u00eempotriva mea. \u015ei, pervers, m-ar transforma \u00eentr-un merituos a c\u0103rui singur\u0103 dovad\u0103 palpabil\u0103 de mediocritate e incontrolabil de indomptabila \u015fi infatigabila modestie ce, merituos, m\u0103 caracterizeaz\u0103.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Sunt mediocru. Sunt, la propriu, captiv \u015fi prins la mijloc de fiin\u0163\u0103: a mea. \u00cen alte privin\u0163e, de la un cap\u0103t la altul personale, tot un fel de mediocru sunt: prins \u015fi captiv \u00eentre posibilele condi\u0163ii de existen\u0163\u0103\u2026 ale fiin\u0163ei mele. Dar nu vreau s\u0103 zic nimic despre ele sau despre ce ele \u2013 niciuna […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[295],"tags":[301,196],"class_list":["post-1126","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-jurnal-eidotomic","tag-jurnal-eidotomic","tag-patrick-calinescu"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jurnaleidotomic.egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1126","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jurnaleidotomic.egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jurnaleidotomic.egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jurnaleidotomic.egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jurnaleidotomic.egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1126"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/jurnaleidotomic.egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1126\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1131,"href":"https:\/\/jurnaleidotomic.egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1126\/revisions\/1131"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jurnaleidotomic.egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1126"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jurnaleidotomic.egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1126"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jurnaleidotomic.egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1126"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}