{"id":1175,"date":"2012-01-16T15:31:22","date_gmt":"2012-01-16T13:31:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jurnaleidotomic.egophobia.ro\/?p=1175"},"modified":"2012-01-16T16:49:10","modified_gmt":"2012-01-16T14:49:10","slug":"tarie-de-caracter-aproximativ-autobiografica","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jurnaleidotomic.egophobia.ro\/?p=1175","title":{"rendered":"T\u0103rie de caracter aproximativ autobiografic\u0103"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\u00cencerc s\u0103-mi pun la punct toate obsesiile. S\u0103 le inventariez, poate. S\u0103 le diminuez, \u00een orice caz, nu. S\u0103 le cump\u0103nesc, c\u00e2nd eu \u00eensumi nu pot fi cump\u0103nit, nici at\u00e2t. S\u0103 le ameliorez pornirea irezistibil\u0103 de a m\u0103 face una cu p\u0103m\u00e2ntul, iar\u0103\u015fi, de ce a\u015f face-o? Deci, nu. S\u0103 le invit la cump\u0103tare \u2013 de care eu \u00eensumi, oricum ar fi, nu dispun \u2013 \u00eempotriva \u00eentregii mele fiin\u0163e compulsive, din nou, dar mai \u00eent\u0103rit \u00een nega\u0163ie ca niciodat\u0103, un <em>nu<\/em> hot\u0103r\u00e2t. Un <em>nu<\/em>, practic, imuabil. Un <em>nu<\/em> care, efectiv, te pune pe g\u00e2nduri. Un <em>nu<\/em>, pe cale de consecin\u0163\u0103, friz\u00e2nd divinul. Un <em>nu<\/em>, a\u015fadar, care e \u00een stare \u2013 \u015fi care vrea s\u0103 fie capabil \u2013 s\u0103-mi \u00eent\u0103reasc\u0103 p\u0103m\u00e2ntul de sub obsesii \u015fi s\u0103-mi \u00eenal\u0163e cerul de deasupra obsesiilor. \u015ei, \u00een egal\u0103 m\u0103sur\u0103, s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eencercuiasc\u0103 \u00een orizontul de dincolo de obsesii.<\/p>\n<p><!--more-->Dar sunt oarecum m\u00e2hnit c\u0103 obsesiile mele nu sunt, cum s\u0103 spun, cu adev\u0103rat obsesive. Niciuna dintre ele, din p\u0103cate, nu a fost suficient de longeviv\u0103 pentru a-\u015fi merita, din plin, numele de obsesie. Niciuna dintre ele nu m-a \u00eenso\u0163it, de-a lungul vie\u0163ii, \u00eendeajuns de mult ca s\u0103 m\u0103 oboseasc\u0103 a\u015fa de tare, \u00eenc\u00e2t s\u0103 devin obsedat c\u0103, iat\u0103, am o obsesie pe care o recunosc, dar pe care nu o pot arunca de pe mine oric\u00e2t m-a\u015f str\u0103dui. Niciuna dintre ele, din nefericire, nu a fost \u00eentr-at\u00e2t de puternic\u0103 \u00een energia sa, \u00eenc\u00e2t s\u0103-mi ajung\u0103 la inim\u0103, pe care s-o cucereasc\u0103 definitiv \u015fi c\u0103reia s\u0103-i dicteze ritmul fiec\u0103rei b\u0103t\u0103i \u00een parte.<\/p>\n<p>Apoi, sunt la fel de c\u0103tr\u0103nit \u015fi de faptul c\u0103 \u00eentreg setul meu de obsesii nu se ridic\u0103 la vreun num\u0103r semnificativ. La vreun num\u0103r care s\u0103 fie capabil, prin \u00eens\u0103\u015fi densitatea lui cuantificabil\u0103, fie s\u0103 m\u0103 impresioneze prin longevitatea ie\u015fit\u0103 din comun a elementelor care-l compun, fie s\u0103 \u00eemi ia aerul de la gur\u0103 \u015fi de la nas prin surmenarea pe care p\u0103r\u0163ile sale componente mi-ar putea-o pricinui, fie s\u0103 m\u0103 arunce \u00een cine \u015ftie ce stop cardiac prin frecventarea, de c\u0103tre constituen\u0163ii s\u0103i cifrici, a chiar fiec\u0103rui petic din ea pe care inima-mi \u00eel bate.<\/p>\n<p>La o mai atent\u0103 trecere \u00een revist\u0103 a obsesiilor de care nu doresc deloc s\u0103 m\u0103 scap, am observat c\u0103, dintre toate care, de fapt, nu se pot ridica la \u00een\u0103l\u0163imea corespunz\u0103toare a unei obsesii autentice, numai una-mi pare a \u00eendeplini \u015fi \u00eensuma toate condi\u0163iile, deja catalogate, pe care trebuie s\u0103 le \u00eentruneasc\u0103 o obsesie dac\u0103 vrea s\u0103-\u015fi asume numele \u015fi statutul de obsesie.<\/p>\n<p>Dintre toate, este, poate, cea mai devastatoare. Cea mai cople\u015fitoare. Cu adev\u0103rat, singura obsesie pe care nu po\u0163i nici s-o diminuezi, nici s-o ameliorezi, nici s-o cump\u0103ne\u015fti, nici s-o invi\u0163i la cump\u0103tare. Este obsesia c\u0103reia, pur \u015fi simplu, deplin \u00eei st\u0103 \u00een putere, chiar pe sine, a se anihila \u00eentr-un <em>nu<\/em> sie\u015fi absolut: practic imuabil \u015fi, pe cale de consecin\u0163\u0103, friz\u00e2nd divinul.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00cencerc s\u0103-mi pun la punct toate obsesiile. S\u0103 le inventariez, poate. S\u0103 le diminuez, \u00een orice caz, nu. S\u0103 le cump\u0103nesc, c\u00e2nd eu \u00eensumi nu pot fi cump\u0103nit, nici at\u00e2t. S\u0103 le ameliorez pornirea irezistibil\u0103 de a m\u0103 face una cu p\u0103m\u00e2ntul, iar\u0103\u015fi, de ce a\u015f face-o? Deci, nu. S\u0103 le invit la cump\u0103tare \u2013 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[295],"tags":[301,196],"class_list":["post-1175","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-jurnal-eidotomic","tag-jurnal-eidotomic","tag-patrick-calinescu"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jurnaleidotomic.egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1175","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jurnaleidotomic.egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jurnaleidotomic.egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jurnaleidotomic.egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jurnaleidotomic.egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1175"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/jurnaleidotomic.egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1175\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1178,"href":"https:\/\/jurnaleidotomic.egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1175\/revisions\/1178"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jurnaleidotomic.egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1175"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jurnaleidotomic.egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1175"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jurnaleidotomic.egophobia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1175"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}